I spent the better portion of the day with my fabulous sister and thought it best to complete this story. Finally.
So... by August after that fateful May, my "new" life had begun to take on its own shape. There was some since of order and control to it, even if it be slight. In learning to overcome my arduous fate, Kara never faltered in her main role of "Claw". I was so absorbed in what was happening to me, I never saw the next piece of bad news coming. And so the saying goes, "Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse..." They did.
One August morning, Kara sent a text. It was direct, "I need you all to meet me for dinner tonight." She gave a time and place. She'd also sent the text to my Mom and Dad. All day I thought, "What could she possibly have to tell us?" My mind went everywhere... she's getting a new job, she was fired, she met the man of her dreams, she won the lottery, she's been transferred. My mind went everywhere, except where Kara was going to take us.
I arrived at dinner with my children promptly, my parents and Kara were already there. I immediately asked what we were there for. Kara said, "Oh, no, no, Let's eat first." You don't argue with Kara, so we did. We ate and laughed and talked and when the napkins were all thrown on the plates, I finally said, "Ok, why are we here?" Because, I truly couldn't stand it any longer.
The next few moments I will remember clearly for as long as I will live, though I wish I wouldn't. Within seconds, Kara had calmly told us she'd found a lump and she had breast cancer.
My immediate reaction was to laugh. I thought for sure it was a joke because really, come on! Had the universe seen what we'd been through over the last several months? Obviously, it hadn't. I leaped up from my chair and rushed over to Kara. I sat on her bag and smashed her leftovers and she scolded me. I know I was crying, we all were, but I remember not panicking. I was trying very hard to listen to the information Kara gave us.My mind spun with words I'd never thought would come out of my younger sister's mouth. Lump. Cancer. Biopsy. Cancer. Oncologist. Cancer. Treatments. Cancer.
The fear that rose in me can't be accurately described. For a few moments I feared losing my only sister, my Claw. Then, in the fog of information and terminology, I heard her say, "It doesn't matter, I'm not going anywhere." Either my Mom or Dad had asked her what stage and type of cancer she had. My mind halted and I thought only of her answer. I looked at my sister and from the depth of my heart, pride swelled. She was so brave. She was Claw, ready to claw back her health!
About a week later, Kara and I went to her first chemotherapy treatment. The experience was overwhelming. Upon entering the cancer center, I thought it would be very... hospital. It was anything but. Yes, there were very sick people there and nurses, and drugs, and IVs, but the thing there that most hospitals seem to lack was hope. A very positive vibe radiated throughout the center. I was glad my sister was there, she was in good hands.
There was a vast amount of information to absorb. We watched a movie about chemotherapy, what it is, and what it does for the body. We learned the drugs they'd soon inject Kara with and those she'd have to take after treatment. We learned about side effects and ways to manage side effects. We nicknamed her second chemo drug, "Agent Red", as it was red in color. It was so potent, it had to be handled specially by the nurse.Even when it became completely overwhelming, Kara remained calm and strong. I had to remind myself all of this was to heal Kara.
Her first round of chemo left her sick. In fact, she'll never eat broccoli cheddar soup again. However, the medicine to counter chemo side effects are so powerful, she never had to worry about being sick again. She was tired, a lot. Her hair thick, wavy hair all fell out, slowly. By winter, she had only several strands left, so she asked me to get rid of them for her. This was a far cry from quietly cutting each others hair while watching The Three Stooges as little girls. I just cut, only wanting to help my sister.
Helping her was one of my top priorities. My life was still in shambles, but I knew I had to be there for my sister. Any sister would be. I'd learned that when your life enters the crisis stage, many people reach out and offer to help. Most of them offer to help, but have no idea what to do. This is completely understandable, but also frustrating. Having gone through that, I simply told my sister I'd do all her cooking. I knew that was one way I could help both her... and myself. Sometimes, I think it is just easier to tell the person you want to help what you're going to do. So, I found a cancer cookbook, hauled out my favorite CrockPot cookbook, and remembered all my favorite "comfort meals" and got cooking. Cooking for Kara ensured my family ate, too, which is something people often forget to do when in crisis stage. I believe my meals helped heal us both. With every veggie, ever spice, every stir, I felt as though I was giving us a purpose... to go on.
Half way through her chemo treatments, Kara's two inch diameter tumor had shrunk in half. In late December, Kara had her lumpectomy. It was a complete success. She began radiation and continued chemo after wards. Our entire family had a new zest for life, as Kara's recovery was a miracle!
By spring, Kara's hair had grown back and people were stopping her on the street complimenting her cute "do". Kiddingly, I told her it took her getting cancer to find the perfect haircut. By late September, her chemo treatments were completely over. She will see her doctor within the next few weeks and will soon have her port removed. (This is a device just beneath the skin above her shoulder blade where they stuck her every time they needed blood or to give her treatements.) If you saw Kara walking down the street, you would never know that one year ago, she was diagonsed with breast cancer.
My sister is my hero. She braved and battled cancer, and she won. I love my sister and I am thankful every day to have her in my life. I am glad for the opportunity to finally pick a good movie for us to see. She is and forever will be, my Claw.
